Live on, hats off

We have the opportunity to wear many hats throughout our lives. When we put those hats on we become an other version of ourselves. Still completely us, but in various forms. 

I have a Teacher and Student hat. A Sister, Daughter, Girlfriend, and Friend hat. An Artist, Hiker, Musician, Teammate and Traveler hat. I’m still exploring and still collecting. All these hats and more have logos and different colors, shapes, and sizes. All beautiful. They each bring out something unique while allowing me to love and be loved; to explore and to create. 

I also have an Ulcerative Colitis Patient hat. 

My UCP hat ( or sombrero at times) hasn’t always felt like it’s been a great accessory to what I’d prefer to wear. Actually, I’ve never felt it’s gone with any outfit. From my elementary school overalls to my professional educator attire, it just does not go. (IT doesn’t go but it makes ME go!) It’s never a good time to put on the hat that makes you lose control of normal body functions. That restricts you from doing what you want. With this hat on the others will have to wait for their next wear. It hasn’t been fair. While my other hats offer sun protection, wardrobe inhancement and confidence boosting qualities, this eye sore, over-sized, and headache inducing hat can leave me feeling suffocated and lost. The size can make it hard to see where I’m going and the weight can leave me stationary. When I’ve worn it I’ve felt like I can’t go anywhere or even see what’s going on around me.

Lately, I’ve been able to hang this hat up. It took a team and my own will power to lift it off. Once a hat is worn though it becomes a part of you and once you’ve seen yourself in a certain hat you can’t unsee it. It scares me to think I could wear it again  at anytime but then again no one really knows what hats we will have to cap ourselves with. I see parts of this hat even in my other hats. I think about it even when I’m wearing others. But this hat is not a burden to own. I now see my other ones more beautifully and more fully enjoy when I get to wear them. I have a better understanding of what relief and gratitude feel like. It hasn’t always brought out the best side of me, but no one hat can really do that anyway.

Maybe all of our hats put together are who we are as a person. Or maybe our true selves are what’s left without any of our hats. Either way, we are loved by someOne who loves us no matter what. Plus, He goes with everything even when we’ve got nothing on. 

Romans 8:38-39


Author: Thegoodthebadandthecrappy

I'm 27 and a fourth year teacher of highschool math. I love all forms of art- music, painting etc. I enjoy hiking and being outside when the Vegas weather permits, otherwise a trip to the coast for long walks on the beach. Actually I'd take the beach day any day. I've had the privilege to study abroad in Spain and travel all over Europe and that travel bug has been biting since. I was diagnosed​ with IBD when I was 10, achieved remission for about a decade but those closest to me and I have been learning the ups and downs of it all over again. I also love cheesy jokes. Math-related, especially.

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